Fraternal Affairs

My Brother Keeps Getting Closer to My Age. Sorry, Bro: You Will Never Arrive.

The gap between us has not moved in decades. And yet, by another measure, Young Jacob is gaining on me every second. A birthday investigation.

By David Flood July 21, 2026 Reading time: the rest of our lives

Here is a fact that has been true, without interruption, since the summer of 1990: my younger brother (henceforth, "Young Jacob") is exactly 1,874 days younger than I am. The number has never changed and it never will. I will always be his wiser elder. Imagine living with that reality?

And here is a second fact, equally true: When Young Jacob was born, I had already lived five full years. Today, on his birthday, the distance between us looks almost trivial — a rounding error. He is nearly as old as I am, yet my wisdom continues to surpass his. It is science. It is math. It is truth.

87.526%

Share of his older brother's age that the younger Mr. Flood has attained, as of this moment. The figure updates continuously. It will not reach 100.

Young Jacob's age, as a share of David's age

1990–2090. He rises fast, then spends a lifetime inching toward a line he never touches.

Source: Flood family records · Analysis by The Upside-Down

1990 On the day he was born, he was 0% of my age. I was five. For one glorious afternoon, I was infinitely older than my brother. Oh, what an afternoon it was!

1995 By kindergarten he had clawed (or rather, "daily dumped") his way to 49%. He was five, I was ten; for a moment, almost exactly half of me. The fastest gains of his life were already behind him. It has basically been downhill every since.

Today On his 36th birthday he reaches 87.5% — a personal record, and closer than he has ever been. So close yet so far away.

2090 Fast-forward to Young Jacob's 100th birthday. He climbs all the way to 95% — and is still, precisely, 1,874 days behind. About 5.1 years. The same 1,874 days as always. Math is gloriously to David's advantage.

The limit The dashed line is parity: the moment he finally matches me. Notice that the curve leans toward it forever and never lands. That line is a promise the math cannot keep. Math shows David wins.

The reason is a single, stubborn piece of arithmetic. His share of my age is his age divided by mine, and, because I am always 1,874 days ahead, that fraction is always a hair under one. As we both get older, those 1,874 days shrink as a portion of our lives, so the fraction creeps upward. But it can never close the gap, because the gap is baked into the numerator forever and because math doesn't care about feelings.

How many times older I am than my brother

At his 5th birthday I was more than twice his age. The advantage erodes, but never to 1.

Source: Flood family records · Analysis by David C. Flood

A convergence, in five moments

Whole-year ages; share computed to the day.

Milestone	Him	Me	His share	What it felt like

There is no real moral of the story here, except the one about the mathematical nature of absolute and relative differences.

Happy birthday, Young Jacob! Sorry I remain, by exactly 1,874 days, older.

Correction: Imagine how much funnier this page could have been if I'd been willing to use my precious Fable credits, instead of dumb Opus 4.8?! Sorry bro, love does have certain limits and I need to save my Fable time to refine my front squat technique.